Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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