i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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