When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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