I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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