i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
