So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.