i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.