they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool