If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize