So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
