im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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