you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
