worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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