# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
