look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
