hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
porn star boner night. come get it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
