I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize