my sisters under your porch take her home
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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