Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
