I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
