I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
