oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
