is your mom at the bar?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
