I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
