It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize