Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
