I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
4 words: hood of his car
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
