Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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