guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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