yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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