thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
