my room smells like sperm. sweet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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