o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i barfeds in our rink
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
