So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
