I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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