How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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