He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
