i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
