I cockslap morals
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
