he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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