So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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