"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
