she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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