and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
