They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
