sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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