just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
