i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
