We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
