I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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