did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
