I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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