Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize