He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
