Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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