Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
