You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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