walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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