So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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