I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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