Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize